Help out, suicide is on my mind, please listen?

please help someone. ima b fast about it.my daughters n the hospital since birth, shes 5 moths. doctors say she wont make it past infancy, all my life has been very rough. drugs , ual abused, emotional abused , beatin by boyfriends,etc..really ima damage person. ok, my life has been a rollercoaster. but i kwn lifes life. so i take it n run wit it. i think i have ptsd. i dnt have insurance, were can i go n get help. i wish somone can explain to my mom that she needs to stop being mean to me.i wish she understood, she just says suck it up. im over the edge, noone understands the pain i go through everyday n my mind. i want out! n i dnt want to call no hotline! y cant my family stop critizing me n judgin me. im cryin 4 help. sorry so sloppy